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That's also a safe, stress-free way to shed light on your pleasure preference. Even still, some guys prefer not to label themselves or are more versatile—meaning they enjoy both topping and bottoming.

And of course, much depends on your partner: For example, you might prefer bottoming with your new guy, even though you found topping more pleasurable with your ex.

In any case, sex of any kind is best had without anxiety, too-high expectations, and strict labeling.

A calm, cool, relaxed body, an open mind, mutual respect, and patience can reward you both with some pretty amazing sexual experiences.

Instead of writing the script of what your anal encounter should be, go in with a blank canvas, let nature take control, and listen to your body's signals.

If your role feels off or uncomfortable for you, speak up, and encourage your partner to do the same.

Sex is a dance of sorts, and who leads isn't quite as important as what happens in the space between the two of you. By Ramon Johnson.

Updated March 05, LiveAbout uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. By using LiveAbout, you accept our. There was something familiar in Lisa's boyfriend vocal epiphany of pleasure, in its rhythm, in its hesitations.

Matt and Lisa were good friends, so when curiosity took over, he directly inquired about the details of her sexual practices.

Lisa explained that her boyfriend liked to have anal sex although this was not exactly her choice of words. More precisely, he liked -- loved even -- for Lisa to wear a strap-on dildo and penetrate him.

Anal sex is the new oral sex, the last sexual anathema to be challenged, confronted, and decomposed. It is increasingly more prevalent in heterosexual couples.

Straight couples discovered anal sex as the next cutting-edge possibility for naughty lovemaking, the porn industry capitalized on the interest, teenagers and young adults started to have anal intercourse as an alternative form of contraception.

In other words, the last three decades taught us that anal sex should not be associated exclusively with male homosexuality. However, this seems to be true only when heterosexual anal stimulation is performed by a insertive male on a receptive female.

It's an eventuality surrounded by incredulity. Many gay men look suspiciously -or with hope- at straight men who like to be penetrated.

Many straight women look at them terrorized. These men end up suppressing their desires, questioning their sexuality and the essence of their masculinity.

Let's take a step back. Why is anal penetration enjoyable to begin with? The anal and rectal regions have numerous nerve endings that can create pleasure during penetration.

Additional amusement can be produced by the flesh or prosthetic penis brushing against the prostate in males or by indirect clitoris stimulation through the rectum in females.

Many gay men enjoy anal sex; many don't like it at all. Many women find it stimulating, while others find it horrifying. Ultimately nerve endings don't really have a gender identity or a sexual orientation.

Therefore it is not absurd to speculate that while many straight men cannot even start picturing receptive anal intercourse, there must be those who contemplate it, crave it, practice it.

The core problem is, once more, communication -- candidly sharing desires and intentions. It doesn't sound easy for a husband to ask his wife: "Hey honey, why don't you put on this dildo and penetrate me tonight?

Too many variables involved: societal norms, self-esteem, expectations around masculinity, let alone moral directives. Ben had a very fulfilling marriage: beautiful couple, fantastic apartment in Brooklyn, brilliant careers and plenty of projects for the future.

Ben's sexual connection to his wife was good, but he couldn't bring himself to discuss with her his interest in receptive anal intercourse. He was afraid to scare her, to disappoint her.

A few years into the marriage he started seeing a prostitute who would wear a strap-on and have sex with him. A couple of months later the marriage was over.

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